Review of Ready or Not

Ready or Not turns small scale into big fun

"This seems like it should be a Netflix movie," my fiance says as we head to the theater to catch Ready or Not. "I feel like movies these days are all about spectacle."

If you've seen the trailer for Ready or Not, you know it's a small-scale story taking place almost exclusively inside a mansion and its grounds. You probably also know it bills itself as a horror movie that can't help but be funny.

Limited sets and a super niche genre? Yeah, I could see what he was saying.

The plot is about a super-rich, strange family that may or may not have made a deal with the devil. New people entering the family need to pass a test -- a game. Our protagonist is a blushing bride who has no idea that the game involves the family hunting her down and killing her before sunrise.

It's one of those self-contained stories that feels low budget, but it boasts a great cast.

Adam Brody shines as a conflicted older brother and Andie McDowel is a jewel of a cult-leader mom. Their performances are fantastic.

You never for a second question any character's motivations. Everyone is absolutely pitch perfect.

If you like gore and humor, this is for you. If you don't, it might be one to stream on Halloween after midnight with a few glasses of wine.

When the movie was over, as many of the main characters were bleeding or dying, my fiance turned to me and said, "I promise that my family hasn't made any deals with the devil that I know of."

That he knows of? Well, I guess we'll find out.

8/10

Annie Stevenson

Review of Ready or Not

Ready or Not turns small scale into big fun

"This seems like it should be a Netflix movie," my fiance says as we head to the theater to catch Ready or Not. "I feel like movies these days are all about spectacle."

If you've seen the trailer for Ready or Not, you know it's a small-scale story taking place almost exclusively inside a mansion and its grounds. You probably also know it bills itself as a horror movie that can't help but be funny.

Limited sets and a super niche genre? Yeah, I could see what he was saying.

The plot is about a super-rich, strange family that may or may not have made a deal with the devil. New people entering the family need to pass a test -- a game. Our protagonist is a blushing bride who has no idea that the game involves the family hunting her down and killing her before sunrise.

It's one of those self-contained stories that feels low budget, but it boasts a great cast.

Adam Brody shines as a conflicted older brother and Andie McDowel is a jewel of a cult-leader mom. Their performances are fantastic.

You never for a second question any character's motivations. Everyone is absolutely pitch perfect.

If you like gore and humor, this is for you. If you don't, it might be one to stream on Halloween after midnight with a few glasses of wine.

When the movie was over, as many of the main characters were bleeding or dying, my fiance turned to me and said, "I promise that my family hasn't made any deals with the devil that I know of."

That he knows of? Well, I guess we'll find out.

8/10

Annie Stevenson

Review of Vice

Vice walks a tricky tightrope between silly and serious

You remember how when 28 Days Later came out, and you just figured it was a sequel to 28 Days, only it wasn’t? Well, this is like the opposite of that to The Big Short.

Before you think about that too much, here’s the meat and potatoes of this review. If you liked The Big Short, you’ll like Vice. If you didn’t, you won’t. If you haven’t seen The Big Short yet, you may continue reading further.

This is another movie by Adam McKay starring Christian Bale and Steve Carrell that exposes a deep secret the average American would just rather ignore. Yeah, sounds familiar. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. I loved The Big Short. The laissez faire narration technique in both movies pulled me into the inner circle. In Vice, it was like Jesse Plemons was letting me in on a secret. And then Adam McKay kind of did. But not in the usual biopic type of way. Vice has a certain tone about it that you don’t get anywhere else. Unless you’ve seen The Big Short.

It played with the fourth wall. It shot an entire scene in iambic pentameter. It gave you an alternate ending in the middle of the movie with credits and everything. It walked a very tricky tightrope between silly and serious without ever losing its footing. And in the end, it had a point. Yes, it is pretty easy to regurgitate the greatest hits of Dick Cheney’s well-known career. But this gave us the character. It helped us understand him on some level, and that is a serious tribute to Christian Bale. Bravo, Batman.

Adam McKay has made a name for himself, at least with me, of being able to explain things I otherwise wouldn’t understand. First the housing crisis, and now politics. I’m looking forward to his next movie, hopefully something about why all children feel the need to stop walking every time they enter a doorway.

7 bugs/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society turns an average book into an average movie

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Director: Mike Newell

Platform: Netflix

I have this horrible habit of wanting to watch the movies of the books I read to compare them. I gave this book three out of five stars and wanted to see how the movie measured up.

Well, you'll all be happy to know, the movie is not better. It's not worse, for what it's worth. But I can see why I hadn't even heard of it before seeking it out.

It's a post-war romantic drama that loosely centers around the German occupation of Guernsey. If you've never heard of Guernsey, you're not alone. It's one of the islands in the English Channel between Britain and France. Many of the Channel Islands were occupied during the war, the Germans used them as staging areas for the Battle of London. There, now I've given you more information than the movie chose to give you. You're already ahead.

The main plot of the movie happens in 1946, directly after the war, which makes the stakes of this story feel obnoxiously low for a something that bills itself as a war movie.

Despite all that though, this movie is crazy endearing. It has a charm and a heart that I wasn't expecting.

A lot of the action happens through flashbacks as we see the trauma and life of the Guernsey residents during the occupation. Like in a lot of occupation stories, we see that life miraculously continued. Even through strife and terror, the people managed to fall in love, buy bread, talk to each other, and read books.

Outside of all this, it is a romance story. It has a guy and a girl. A chance meeting. It has several tiny reasons that they should be apart, but no huge ones. She leaves. He stays. They meet back up at the airport – uh, boat dock.

If romance floats your boat, this is as good a story as any. If you like war stories, this one is okay. If you like 1940s fashion, this movie is phenomenal.

I'm one of those people who hates when romance cheapens a deep and meaningful story, so I'm acknowledging my bias here. I give the movie the same star-rating as the book, 3/5.

(For anyone wondering, I actually liked the book. But the ending was absolute trash. The final two chapters were a completely different format from the rest and changed some key characters' personalities. It totally took me out of it. I recommend the book other than that.)

6/10

Annie Stevenson

Review of The Best of Enemies

The Best of Enemies adds great acting to an already remarkable true story

Two of today's best actors face off in this true story of racial tensions in 1971 Durham, NC. I will watch any film with Sam Rockwell. Not just because he is such a good actor, but I always enjoy the films he chooses (Seven Psychopaths!). And Taraji P. Henson truly channels Ann Atwater, especially her walk and ferocity. The story is gripping and heartfelt as ideologies clash and personalities negotiate the challenges of inevitable change and the social forces pulling at them. The characters are all very human, with their Idiosyncrasies, personal trials and foibles. Of course the heart of the story is C.P. Ellis' (Sam Rockwell's character) transformation, all the more remarkable because it is true. And I particularly enjoyed the videos of the real people after the movie ended. To see the rest of the story was very gratifying.

9/10
Sherry Wack

Review of Ant-Man

Ant-Man picks up the MCU humor ball right where Guardians put it down

You’re not going to believe this, but I just watched Ant-Man three times in as many days. This is what happens when I rent things on Amazon.

This was awesome. Not perfect, not quite The Winter Soldier, but awesome. What it did, which is so important to the Avengers franchise is it continued the humor the Guardians started the year prior. Thor 2 sucked all the air out of the room, but the MCU was saved by the Winter Soldier. And then came Guardians of the Galaxy, so far out of left field, I didn’t even know it was part of the Avengers franchise until the ads for Infinity War (yeah, I was behind). It was funny, it played with tone, it was impossible to imagine this gang of misfits sharing a scene with Thor. And then Age of Ultron brought back the regular mood of the franchise. Great, but it appeared as though Guardians would be the exception.

NOPE! They boldly put Paul Rudd in charge of the next installment of the MCU. And not just Rudd, but Michael Pena. His character is like no other in the Avengers universe. The two scenes of him explaining how he got his intel alone make the movie worth watching. It had the typical Marvel story – save the world by defeating the bad guys trying to use the tech they have for bad things like war and killing children. But it does it with humor – a different kind of humor than we’re used to from the MCU (again, I didn’t know about Guardians yet). The way they juxtaposed the seriousness of the situation with the miniscule stature of the players involved (when the briefcase landed in the pool, and more notably when the toy train derailed) was a golden opportunity they most certainly did not miss.

Yes, the concept is interesting. Shrinking the distance between atoms. OK, that’s easy enough to understand. That’s why he can hit with the power of a large man. But then wouldn’t he weigh the same as a large man? Because last time I tried to ride an ant, it didn’t go so well. Maybe they should have made it harder to understand so we wouldn’t figure out that plot hole. Kind of like the whole “going subatomic” thing. Not even Neil deMovieRuiner Tyson went anywhere near that.

Major plot holes aside, this was a fun movie. Maybe not quite as good the third day in a row, but still awesome.

7 bugs/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of A Star Is Born

A Star is Born can be two completely different movies to two very similar people

You know what they say. Fourth time’s a charm.

I interpreted this movie in two completely separate ways. Just after I saw it, and after I talked to my wife about it.

After I had just seen it, I thought it was exactly the movie I assumed it would be. Some story of a rock star reaching down into the massive crowd of wannabe singers and finding a true gem, pulling her up to stardom, and falling in love with her. Yay. I enjoyed seeing the transformation of Gaga to become a star and the back and forth about how she was changing with her and Cooper, but I didn’t love it and I could see it coming. The end was a little contrived, and without Gaga having roots in the story that was actually told, it would have been a disappointment. 4 bugs/10.

Then I asked Jenn what she had thought (she saw it months ago on a plane). The first thing out of her mouth was about how it was a good depiction of someone who is suicidal and wished it had gone a little deeper in showing how suicide affects the people who live on.

Wow. Honestly, the suicide wasn’t even on my radar of things to talk about. But it should have been. I remember hearing from someone who thought they were suicidal saying that it isn’t necessarily if they will commit suicide, but when. Jenn went on to explain to me that this was a more grounded version of someone who is suicidal. They’re not always crying in the tub, but mostly people don’t notice the signs. Which is exactly what I didn’t notice during the movie. And in that case, this movie did a great job. Jenn went on to say that what often keeps people from committing suicide isn’t necessarily having a happy family life, but having a job or a task to complete. In Bradley Cooper’s case, it was turning Gaga into a star. And once that was complete, he had nothing left to do. 6 bugs/10

This movie took a huge turn about 12 hours after I finished watching it.

I wish I had watched it with that in mind, and maybe I will someday. But during the movie, I was stuck on Gaga and how she was selling out to become a star.

And then, a week later, I had a conversation about how contrived it is to use death as a method to affect the audience.

This friend was speaking about it in terms of why she liked Mad Men, but it brought me back here. And so I went back to my first opinion. Maybe this was contrived. I wish it made me think more about the suicide, but by the time it happened, I wasn’t. Maybe that’s my fault, or maybe it’s the fault of the movie. And so now I have no idea what I think. This actually happens quite often.

4-6 bugs/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of Spider-Man: Far From Home

Spiderman does some major heavy lifting for the MCU, and does so perfectly

What now?

It’s a simple question, but an oh-so important and loaded one when it comes to the once-in-a-lifetime twentythrilogy that is/was the Avengers franchise. The task Spiderman had was enormous and I was a little worried when I saw there was another movie coming out this close to Endgame. I mean, the movie had the word End in the title. Major MAJOR characters died. Maybe we should let it simmer for a year. It was epic in scope and unlike the last two ensemble movies, where they could just release a light-hearted Ant-Man dessert afterwards, people were going to look at whatever came out after Endgame for direction.

And we were not disappointed.

The movie picked up right where Endgame ended, acknowledging and memorializing the major deaths from Endgame, specifically Iron Man. And they gave us a name for the snap, called “the blip.” Sure, they ignored the whole MAJOR problem the world’s infrastructure would have if the population suddenly doubled. But that was a job for Endgame and I won’t put this on Spiderman. It handled the emotion of the world-saving battle perfectly and used Iron Man as a martyr. Which is what we all needed as a grieving audience as well. Bravo.

Now on to the action. Spiderman is a teenager. He has raging hormones and after battling aliens in space, he just wants to hang out with his friends and maybe kiss a girl. I get it. I’ve been there. But the world is looking for the next Iron Man, as they say over and over. Man, what a burden. First, the whole great power thing and now this. And we feel it. But Nick Fury could give a crap about his hormones. Especially when there is another threat to the earth.

Thankfully, there is Mysterio, some dude straight from an earth in another dimension, kind of ripping off another recent Spiderman flick. And he’s great. Just what the earth needs, because quite frankly, Spiderman’s powers would be worth about as much mine against the water and fire monsters. And for the record, mine are teaching my 4-year-old son how to swim and wipe his own butt, in that order. And of course, Mysterio is this great guy, who defeats the elementals and mentors Peter, just like the surrogate dad he just lost. But he does this halfway through the movie AND it was Jake Gyllenhaal, so you know something is up.

And boy, did the movie turn. I knew something was coming, but I didn’t see that. So much of it tied back to the MCU, cutting in footage from Iron Man and Civil War brilliantly. And again, this is the movie that was going to show us the way. What now? Well, it looks like the MCU will live on, acknowledging the previous 22 movies after all. Whew! We can rest easy for the rest of the year and await further instructions.

The illusions may have been a little too much, and the physics of it all was pretty far-fetched. Who is paying for all this tech? And all these drones? But when Tony unleashed thirtysomething Iron Man suits in Iron Man 3, that cat was kinda out of the bag. And the scene where Peter almost had his classmate killed was a bit over the top, even if it was necessary to show us what they could do. But the major concern this movie needed to address was addressed and this viewer is satisfied. And the two end credit sequences – which I could write an entire review of by themselves – teased another two movies and I’m just happy life will continue after Iron Man. Thanks, Spidey. Good luck in the next one. Looks like you have your work cut out for you.

9 bugs/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of The Meg

The Meg knows what it is and accomplishes what it wants, which is OK

Not every movie is going to be a revolutionary classic like Gone with the Wind or The Godfather, but that does not mean a movie cannot be enjoyable.

The Meg is a movie where your expectations just have to be lowered a bit, and when they are you’ll have a lot of fun watching. It is not the dramatic thriller that Jaws is, but nevertheless, it is very fun to watch. It is a ridiculous movie where top action star Jason Statham is going head-to-head against a gigantic prehistoric shark. Where is this the makings of a movie plot that is not insane? It is insane, and has to be enjoyed as an insane plot for a movie.

The movie definitely has parts that do not make much sense. Half the characters are dull and do not really have much development, but it has some really great parts. The movie knows it is ridiculous, asking why a person who cannot swim took a job working in a science lab submerged in the ocean. The character Meiyingm, the child daughter of one of the main scientists, often makes fun of the stupid parts of the movie, which is great.

Then you see Jason Statham as Jonas Taylor, getting in the water to shoot a giant megalodon with a tracker from just 100 feet away and having to try to out swim it to get back to the boat, or him in a submersible, turning his vehicle on its side to stab the giant shark’s under belly. It’s exactly what I wanted to see.

7/10
Corey Johns

Review of Father of the Bride 1950

Father of the Bride reminds us that heart beats hijinx in the long run

The last movie I watched all the way through was Father of the Bride (1950). Despite the middle class household with a maid, a father who wore a suit and tie around the house, and twin beds in the master bedroom, the movie holds up pretty well. It is still better than the Steve Martin version in 1991. The reason for this durability is that the Spenser Tracy/Elizabeth Taylor version has heart. Tracy's irascible father is over-the-top and Taylor is little more than pretty, but we care about them and about Joan Bennett's efforts to mediate and hold it all together.

The 1991 remake is more like a sitcom with the wedding as a backdrop for funny bits. If all a movie can give you is admiration for gags and stunts then you haven't had the full experience. Movies should make you more than a witness, you need to care about the characters.

To continue, the wedding preparations have enough authenticity to engage our sympathy, and the wedding ceremony is a near tear-jerker in its sincerity. The reception with twice as many guests as the house can comfortably hold is chaotic and Tracy's frustration at being a host while trying to find his daughter for a final word is appropriately poignant. The movie hits all the right notes and I recommend the movie for anyone anticipating participation in a wedding.

8/10
Richard Barr

Review of The Dead Don’t Die

The Dead Don’t Die: An experiment in boredom as humor

Jim Jarmusch already has a very specific audience. Add in the homage to a movie you’ve never seen from 1968 in the deadest genre this side of Western, and you’ve pretty much targeted less than 1% of all moviegoers. I am not in that 1%.

I loved Down by Law, which is my only real experience with Jim Jarmusch. Gritty, Coen-esque, and Roberto Benigni trying to understand English. It was a little fun, a little interesting, and I wouldn’t recommend in on the record to a lot of folks without a caveat of some sort. I have a rep to protect. The Dead Don’t Die did not resemble that at all. Maybe it resembled Night of the Living Dead. Maybe it didn’t try to resemble anything. But it certainly did not resemble entertainment.

My overwhelming feeling was that of boredom. And in places where there wasn’t boredom, there was confusion. There was a fourth wall break early, which was odd. And toward the end, there was another. It was out of place and I didn’t get it. Deadpool, I got. Ferris Bueller was consistent. This one seemed to be in the place of a story rather than being part of one.

There was a part where the zombies were looking at their cell phones mumbling “Wi-fi” in a zombie tone of voice. I thought maybe that was supposed to be a commentary on how we’re the zombies and society is – and then it was over in 20 seconds. I don’t think there was anything second-level to really interpret there, and if there was, it failed. At least with me. But again, I’m not one of the less than 1%.

The dialogue and acting seemed to be intentionally bad in parts. But I don’t know why. I also got the distinct impression he was trying to use the absence of humor to create humor. Ballsy, yes. But also ineffective. Other than the zombie apocalypse being caused by polar fracking, there was zero interesting or original about this movie. Nothing happened. It made me question whether Down by Law was even that good. This movie was so unenjoyable, it made me enjoy a movie I saw 30 years ago less. That’s how bad this was.

2/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of Toy Story 4

Toy Story 4 gives us the goodbye we didn’t know we needed

First Iron Man, now Woody? Could somebody please go make sure that Marty McFly is safe in 1985?

The Toy Story franchise hasn’t made a single misstep. Everybody said they should have let it die after 3, because it was such a powerful and complete ending for the characters. Well I did, and I assume everybody else is like me. We wouldn’t want to go Crystal Skulling up the 298% fresh trilogy. But then we would be denied this new awesome installment, once again sitting at 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. And who cares if our need to have the perfect trilogy is slightly tainted by an awesome movie? There’s always Back to the Future.

All the regulars are back in this one, albeit briefly. And Woody once again finds himself trapped between his loyalty to his kid, his kinship with all the other toys, and the burden of making sure no parents or kids find out that toys really are sentient when they choose to be. But that’s just one of the many things we ignore about Toy Story when we put in the VHS. Yes, I have Toy Story on VHS. It’s that old.

Woody is once again loyal to a fault, going well beyond what any toy should be asked to do in the line of duty. He leaves his gang and his kid and his ride behind to save a self-destructive spork who has flung himself out of the camper window. Not for Forky, but for Bonnie, his kid. Along the way, he meets an antique toy who wants his voice box, some terrifying ventriloquist dummies, and his old flame, Bo Peep. There is a lot of action and emotion and comedy along the way, and of course, a moral of sacrifice for the happiness of others. In particular, a little girl who was lost at a fair was able to find some comfort in a toy that nobody wanted. Aww. Tears were shed.

But the real tears came a few minutes later. When we realized that Woody was leaving the gang to be with Bo. Much like Endgame, we were saying goodbye to a franchise. Barring Tom Hanks somehow going bankrupt, we will never see these friends together again. But it was a happy goodbye. More Cap than Iron Man. And it was rushed, much like Woody’s actual goodbye. The car was starting. He had to decide. And just like that, it was over. Kind of like how you’re supposed to leave your 3-year-old at school. Any longer goodbye would be too heartbreaking. And with that, the original Pixar franchise – the one that wasn’t sure if an audience would be able to connect with these characters for an entire full-length movie 24 years ago – said its goodbye. Thank you.

8.5/10

Dustin Fisher

Review of Ready Player One

Ready Player One has a few inherent problems, but fun isn’t one of them

I read the book before I saw the movie. This actually doesn’t happen very often for movies made outside the SCU (Seuss Cinematic Universe). And it was an awesome experience. I was worried when I saw that it was being made into a movie, but excited when I saw Spielberg attached to it. I mean, he already has access to all his copyrights, right? Actually, I have no idea how copyright law works.

But one big issue with the book is the audience. It’s billed as a YA book, but it is almost necessary to have to be my age to appreciate the references, which is about 80% of it. So is it for just young adults who have read up on the 80s extensively? Or maybe I’m overthinking it since the book was a NY Times best seller and translated onto 20 languages.

The movie didn’t follow the book word for word like some uppity purists think has to happen whenever somebody makes a movie from a book. Nobody says that about Led Zeppelin’s The Battle of Evermore. ANYWAY, this was an excellent adaptation of the book. It cut or changed when it needed to, but stayed mostly true to the source. In fact, the two major changes I saw made it a much better movie. First, the race. That was an awesome way to get you into this world right away and immediately allowed you to indulge your inner 80s geek. Second, the quarter. It may have been a silly bet, but it was a much more efficient way for Parzival to get that quarter that he needed.

The biggest problem, however, which would have been tough to get around without completely changing the course of the movie, is its message. That we should spend more time outside of the game. In real life. Right after the most mind-blowingly immersive 175-million-dollar movie event there has ever been. Yeah right. That’s what you want us to do.

Not to mention the painfully long third act. After all the tension was over and the story was pretty well wrapped up, it kept going. Even the cheesy score had no idea what to do after 10 minutes.

And the password on the post-it note.

And the contest itself.

But like I said, it was a lot of fun of you don’t concern yourself too much with facts or logic.

6.5/10
Dustin Fisher

Review of Apocalypse Now

Apocalypse Now sets a great table, but burns the bird

What’s worse than having a bad ending for your movie? Not having one at all.

I’m speaking in terms of the filmmaker here. Obviously, the movie ended. They all do. Frames come and go a dozen at a time and eventually people leave the theater or log off Netflix or eject their VHS cassette (haha, just kidding – nobody does that anymore). But as a director, it must suck having a great movie on your hands and no good plan on how to wrap it up.

Martin Sheen opened the movie by taking a job trying to find an officer who definitely went rogue and probably went crazy. That is, if you’re going to believe Harrison Ford, who is for some reason in this movie for exactly three minutes. Apparently nobody had heard of Star Wars yet. So the entire movie, Sheen is traveling upriver, looking for OH SHIT – Marlon Brando is in this movie? AWESOME! Along the way, he gets sidetracked, has to fight his way out of some situations, and runs into some nut jobs. This is where the movie should have stayed. Because they were awesome sequences, both in the action and the characters. But the entire trip, we were distracted by this eminent showdown with Brando. This isn’t the real movie. This is just a pretty streamer going from corner to corner in the den. And then comes the showdown.

I don’t know how to describe it but to say it was weird. Was Brando crazy? Why were all these people – including the last guy they sent to kill him – worshipping him like a god? What is his fetish with decapitation? I never really got the feeling he was a bad guy, despite the decapitations. But I never got the feeling he was a good guy. And it wasn’t like Paul Reiser from Alien, where I just didn’t know because he walked the line so well. It was because I didn’t really care. Or I didn’t really get it. And I felt like I should. I mean this is Apocalypse Now! So I looked online. Apparently nobody else got it either. Including Coppola.

If that movie could have just somehow lived in those seemingly disparate sequences in the middle, it would have been so much better. If there was a way to wrap it in something else, like maybe some lettuce or naan or something. Because the white bun wasn’t working. But MAN would it have taken balls to watch the final cut and decide to cut Brando out of the movie. Yeah, that’s probably not the best use of money. But instead, we got what we got. Still, that middle section with Robert Duvall and the other trouble they ran into was fantastic. Just cut the movie off 45 minutes from the end and you’ll thank me. And yes, I’m aware I kind of said Paul Reiser did a better acting job than Marlon Brando. I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin.

5.5/10
Dustin Fisher

Review of Glory

Glory was a great story wrapped in a tortilla that tasted too much like Ferris Bueller

To celebrate Memorial Day this year, I decided to watch Ferris Bueller ride a horse for 2 hours.

Glory is an excellent film. It won three Oscars, ignited (or at least added some gasoline to) the conversation on race in Hollywood movies, and introduced the world to Denzel Washington. And we must all thank you for that. But man, it was tough to get passed some of it to be able to appreciate it for what it was.

First, there was the most ridiculous soul patch in Hollywood history. I know Matthew Broderick has proven himself to be talented – especially on Broadway – and this was probably a great move for him to get out from under that Ferris Bueller thundercloud. But this was only 3 years after that movie and that’s a huge jump to expect us to make. Even watching it 30 years later, all I could see was Ferris Bueller trying to act serious. And why was he on a horse for over half the movie? Is that really how people just got around campus back then?

But if you could look passed him, the movie had some great things to say. Morgan Freeman, Denzel, and Andre Braugher did an excellent job representing black soldiers with three dynamically different personalities, backgrounds, and reasons for joining the fight. The dynamic between them was as compelling as the dynamic between each of them and the white folks who were in various stages of in charge.

But then there was that first fight scene. And I know this was a lot of years and a lot of technology ago, but did people seriously just stand 20 feet apart firing guns at each other and reloading for 20 seconds? There were no better ideas? That was war back then? Man, that’s brutal. And people wanted to do this? People still want to do this? I get that I’m a coward and not much of a patriot, but people seemed quite proud to be selected to march to their death. Man, I just don’t get war.

Which brings me to my favorite scene in the movie, where Denzel asks Broderick who wins? What is really going to change? At least for him. And of course the fact that this is a true story, with much of the voiceover coming from the actual letters written by Col. Robert Shaw also makes me appreciate the movie a lot more. And after speaking with a historian of some qualification, I have verified that soul patches were all the rage, soldiers did stand remarkably close just shooting at each other, and rich Boston folk rode their horses around just because they could.

So if I could score this movie based solely on my appreciate for it, rather than my enjoyment of it, I would probably score it a lot higher. But since nobody is making me do this, I won’t. I’ll do this.

5/10
Dustin Fisher

Up to Date List of Retired Movies

The following movies have been retired from the Movie Madness tournament after making to the Final Four of a major tournament (the number in parenthesis is the season it was retired):

• The Princess Bride (1/2)
• Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (1)
• Back to the Future (1/2)
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1)
• Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (2)
• Star Wars: A New Hope (2)
• Forrest Gump (3)
• Saving Private Ryan (3)
• The Shawshank Redemption (3)
• Jurassic Park (3)
• Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (4)
• Die Hard (4)
• Gladiator (4)
• The Lion King (4)
• Toy Story (5)
• Ghostbusters (5)
• The Sandlot (5)
• Aladdin (5)
• The Dark Knight (6)
• Groundhog Day (6)
• Deadpool (6)
• The Wizard of Oz (6)

Note: There are only 22 retired movies because we didn't decide to do it until after the 2nd season and both Back to the Future and The Princess Bride were in the finals from seasons 1 and 2.