Review of Gone In 60 Seconds

Gone in 60 Seconds is about how long I wish I had paid attention to the movie

What a waste of Angelina Jolie.

I went into Gone in 60 Seconds with already low expectations. The phrase guilty pleasure was about the best thing I heard people say about this movie. And those incredibly low expectations were still too high for this movie. Almost every single decision somebody made or action somebody took was completely contrived. How many service trucks need to back up right in front of this guy? How would he not see the missing part of the bridge inches from his feet? Why wouldn’t these construction workers stop what they were doing for five minutes when there were 10 cops on a high-speed chase through their work site? I get that this isn’t The Martian and we’re not necessarily trying to really figure out what people would do in these situations, but it makes for a much crappier movie when we don’t.

From the moment the movie started, the premise had problems. Some exec had to try to figure out a way to get a car thief we could root for. And they came up with this paper thin older brother savior thing, which couldn’t even cover rock. So I already don’t care about these characters. And did the detective really get in the car and rev the engine? Now I can’t even root for them to get caught. Also, no matter how good of an actor Nick Cage might be to some people, he’s always the same exact guy to me. Looks the same, sounds the same, acts the same. But at least there will be some good car chases in this.

Nope. Unreasonable things kept backing out in front of Cage. He never did anything clever. He drove backwards for a while at full speed, which might have been cool to see when I was nine. There was much more of an emphasis on rock music than creating tension. The first seven minutes of Drive was better than this entire movie and it didn’t waste as much of my time. When they forgo good dialogue and story for cool car chases and spying on couples having sex in front of their very open window, please do something original or otherwise interesting with the car chases.

2/10

Dustin Fisher