The one thing we cannot do after losing "Black Panther"

Chadwick Boseman wanted the titular role as King T'Challa in "Black Panther" so badly that he prayed for it. A deeply religious Christian man, this wasn't an "all I want for Christmas" style wish or just another Hollywood competitive moment. He contemplated and comprehended deeply the weight and the heft of the momentous Panther mantle. He wore the responsibility authentically and meaningfully, as he did in biopics where he appeared as Jackie Robinson, James Brown, and Thurgood Marshall; but in his portrayal of T'Challa, he brought much of himself into that Vibranium suit. And now that Chadwick Boseman's soul has departed this world, we are all left with a sizable hole in our hearts... and a substantial responsibility to honor and continue the work he undertook. The one thing we CAN'T do with our grief... is nothing at all.

The impact of Chadwick's portrayal of King of Wakanda cannot be understated. As a white woman, I am decidedly ill-equipped and brutally unqualified to find the right words to express the magnitude of this loss. Suffice it to say, few of us will ever forget the first time we ever saw someone like ourselves projected onto the silver screen as powerful, iconic, and heroic... how we left the theater with a little more bounce in our steps, feeling renewed confidence, and ,maybe even a whisper of superhuman strength. For far too many Americans, that moment had only just arrived in February (Black History Month) of 2018 with Black Panther. All of us are indebted to Chadwick Boseman for his selflessness in continuing to portray T'Challa for years beyond his 2016 cancer diagnosis. So are we all responsible to the children whose hearts he made soar, and whose experiences he validated and uplifted, that they should not have to yearn long for more. The man who threw open the gates to Wakanda for the world while battling cancer did the heavy lifting. Support, love, and share media that celebrates Black heroes and voices.

One such voice belongs to Ryan Coogler, director of Black Panther. He has written one of the most moving obituaries I've read yet for the man who brought the legend to life. I humbly suggest reading the whole article as you honor and celebrate and grieve the loss of a hero, onscreen and off.

"I inherited Marvel and the Russo Brothers’ casting choice of T’Challa. It is something that I will forever be grateful for. The first time I saw Chad’s performance as T’Challa, it was in an unfinished cut of “Captain America: Civil War.” I was deciding whether or not directing “Black Panther” was the right choice for me. I’ll never forget, sitting in an editorial suite on the Disney Lot and watching his scenes. His first with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, then, with the South African cinema titan, John Kani as T’Challa’s father, King T’Chaka. It was at that moment I knew I wanted to make this movie. After Scarlett’s character leaves them, Chad and John began conversing in a language I had never heard before. It sounded familiar, full of the same clicks and smacks that young Black children would make in the States. The same clicks that we would often be chided for being disrespectful or improper. But, it had a musicality to it that felt ancient, powerful, and African.

In my meeting after watching the film, I asked Nate Moore, one of the producers of the film, about the language. “Did you guys make it up?” Nate replied, “That’s Xhosa, John Kani’s native language. He and Chad decided to do the scene like that on set, and we rolled with it.” I thought to myself. “He just learned lines in another language, that day?” I couldn’t conceive how difficult that must have been, and even though I hadn’t met Chad, I was already in awe of his capacity as actor.

I learned later that there was much conversation over how T’Challa would sound in the film. The decision to have Xhosa be the official language of Wakanda was solidified by Chad, a native of South Carolina, because he was able to learn his lines in Xhosa, there on the spot. He also advocated for his character to speak with an African accent, so that he could present T’Challa to audiences as an African king, whose dialect had not been conquered by the West."

 Rest in power, King. #WakandaForever

Most Ridiculous And DEFINETLY NOT ELITE Top Eight "Battle Royale" Costumes (Part 1 of 2)

Thirty-four videos, Dustin said. It'll be fun, Brett said. These should be really serious and thoughtful, Trevor said. Hold our beer, basically the rest of us said.
Love or hate it/them/us, you have to admit that the gimmickry "Battle Royale" has evolved to involve... well, certainly is “a thing,” in the words of the Commish.
#8: Captain America Kids vs. "Edpool," Round Two
Morris and Nathan hold perfect records with a shared 1-0 victory of Captain America over Ed's Deadpool. Edpool worked hard to keep it clean under the sheriff's watchful eye with two kids combining for less than nine years of shield-wielding. But even Ed couldn't keep from melting under Chris Evans' smoldering cameo. Blink or you'll miss it, here.

#7: White Shazam Genie vs. Memento Pandering Paul Reiser Boob Loki, Elite Eight
Look, I was in this sketch and I don't even have words to describe it. I don't think any of us do, or ever will. You just have to watch. 

 #6: Loki (Kind of?) Vs. Gandalf the Perv, Elite Eight
Stryker's Gandalf the Gray (but actually the Blue and slightly pervy, if we're honest) versus Justin's handmade papier-mâché Mask of Loki (more of "The Mask" fame than "The Avengers," but who even cares, it's badass) made for some tougher than usual ref business from Dustin. "Now is the time to mute everyone" and "I am extremely uncomfortable when we cover racist and pervert humor" make for some of Big Fish's best dialogue yet; mostly because I'm not allowed to type anything the other guys said. See for yourself here.



#5: Thor (on... Behalf? of Hela?) vs. T1000, Round One
In round one, Hela's brother more or less defeated the T1000 for her. Interrupted by "Hounds," wielding both Mjolnir and Stormbreaker, and confusing the seven hells out of normally formidable rival Stryker in a vintage tee-shirt, Thor--we mean Hela--made short work of Terminator. This battle began not only a new tradition in Movie Madness gimmickry, but also a ton of petty pandering between Stryker and Brett going forward. If you missed this early gem, rewatch the video HERE.

But wait. There's more. Stay tuned, for 1-4... coming Thorsday. I mean Thursday.

Five Biggest Movie Madness Mistakes Ever - #5

The concept of this Movie Madness tournament was born out of the need for unpredictability. I had been putting movies in a bracket and voting myself for years, sometimes with the help of my cats. But that was stupid and lonely and the same damn movies won every time, so it was also boring. I knew that outsourcing the voting on these tournaments to the plethora of questionable motives and poor taste of the internet people was risky. But eventually, boring and lonely and stupid needed a friend. Or an enemy. Or at least something else.

And so, with a reluctant click of a mouse, I decided to see what Facebook had to say. I get that not everybody has the same special place in their heart for Big Fish and Back to the Future Part II, but there have been some decisions so infuriating, I came close to flushing the tournament, the group, and my profile down the toilet and just leaving in its place a broken heart emoji with a bunch of tiny shit emojis pouring out of it under the saying You know what you did.

I have very painfully scoured the recesses of my brain for the moments I have since blocked out so that I may exist in this role without constantly wanting to punch myself in the dick. These decisions exist for different reasons: spite, the need to be clever, forgetfulness, inexplicably poor taste – but they all have one thing in common. They came dangerously close to blowing up the entire system. Because I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a gracious or forgiving benefactor.

#5 – Bad Romance:

I have tried to stay out of the way as the commish of this tournament. NO RULES is proudly displayed on my official Movie Madness Facebook group certification hanging over my mantle. I trust you people to do the right thing. Not as individuals, seeing that Deep Throat still gets nominated for shit on occasion, but as a group. When Best Documentary comes up and Corey nominates Space Jam, I trust that smarter, more developed heads will prevail. And they do.

Except when they don’t. Because sometimes, they won't.

I get it. I really do. As a standup comedian and an author of a comedy book, I understand the desire to be clever, the need for people to see you as funny, or different. Somebody who thinks outside the box. No woman has ever gone home with a guy whose favorite ice cream is vanilla. And if one did, I bet she was only there to steal government secrets. But as the Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark will tell you, sometimes boxes are there for a reason.

January 8, 2017. Movie Madness IV. Theme: Genres.
The nominations thread goes up. Best Romance. Some of the usuals get tossed around. When Harry Met Sally. Love Actually. The Notebook. But before all that, the first movie mentioned was Deadpool. Haha I thought. How cute I mused. It was the first year Deadpool was Movie Madness eligible and people really loved that movie. And hey look! People are so moved by the love story that they feel compelled to mention it. That’s adorable. No rules. Great concept.

CUT TO: January 10, 2017. Interior, internet.
The poll goes up. Deadpool is in it because it’s in the top 10 in the nominations thread. Sure. I mean dumb crap gets into the poll all the time. Except Space Jam. Nobody else likes that movie, like AT ALL. Deadpool gets some votes. Other stuff gets some votes. I look at IMDB. Deadpool: Action, Adventure, Comedy. Not romance.

CUT TO: January 11, 2017. Interior, Dustin’s car.
It’s been 24 hours. It’s a Tuesday. I bring my daughter to school. I leave with Morris, intending to go to the DC Metro dad’s playgroup. I check my phone to announce to the waiting public who will get an automatic bid to the tournament by winning the Romance conference. No, not Action or Comic Book, or even the Romantic Comedy conference. Romance. Deadpool. I refresh my browser. Still Deadpool. I check the title of the poll. It says simply Best Romance. I throw my phone out the window. I scream something about friends not being real friends if they just want to hurt you. I start to become the Hulk, maybe Wolverine. I don’t know. But something changes. I notice my son has been crying for 5 minutes. I tell him it’s OK. It’s not his fault yet that people have such a need to be clever that they’re willing to hurt people for it. Bobby rejoices. Says he’s proud people thought so far out of the box. I scream something about Blockbuster and genres and expectations. He said What’s a Blockbuster? I throw my other phone out the window. Morris begins crying again. I go get my phones. We go to Dunkin Donuts. It is now a cheat day.

See, I love Deadpool. It was a certain kind of refreshing I didn’t see coming, and I enjoyed every minute of it, even the love story in it. But if I went to a Blockbuster (or Amazon Prime) and spent money on a romance to watch with my special lady friend to try to get her in the mood, and it turned out to be this and she wasn’t into it, I’d want my money back. And my vanilla ice cream. And my government secrets. This was a time when a group of people saw the chance to be clever and latched onto it, consequences be damned!

All that said, I wasn’t really pissed. I was annoyed. Deadpool was going to get in the tournament anyway, and now it probably just stole a spot from perennial loser The Notebook. I just like throwing phones. And my son was crying because Ira Glass was talking politics at him for like 20 minutes, and there was nothing he could do about it. Anyway, this is why it’s only #5. But it did give me pause about how much rope I give the group. I worry a little bit more that Endgame will win the Best Classic Movie conference now that I have seen I can’t trust you people. And yes, I say you people, because if we’ve learned nothing from the past four years, it’s that we can deny the outcome of a vote that we participated in if we disagree with it. #notmyromance

To be continued…

What the Movie Madness 68 "Final Four" Says About Us Right Now

Captain Marvel is the only #1 seed in the Final Four. Scarlet Witch (#4),
Wonder Woman (#7) and Loki (#3) round out our finalists.

What a delightful thing, in this year in which so many of us have felt so powerless over our own fate, to see three extraordinarily badass female heroes and one antihero with a serious sense of humor make it to the Movie Madness 68 Final Four. These may not be the heavy hitters many expected to coast to the finals; but soak in that what we ended up with represents a moment that is a microcosm of a much larger story. Here is a short breakdown of what may have driven us to this end. 

A Moment for Formidable Women

 Let's all collectively appreciate that from a field of 64 emerged a Final Four with three female superheroes unlike any we had growing up. I'm proud to be a mother in this moment, excited to see my daughter seeing herself in these three women and my four-year-old son asking to play with his sister's Wonder Woman action figure.

All Of Them Are Strangers to Their/Our Current World Order

A demi-goddess warrior. A veteran pilot imbued with Kree blood and photon blast fisticuffs. A vengeance-fueled mutant with reality warping abilities. And the black sheep Norse God whose moral compass is as shifty as he is. None of them belong to the world they seek to save. And we might all feel that way right now; like a foreigner moving through a virus-torn world where nothing feels quite right. Speaking of which...

None of Them Wear Masks in Their Current Cinematic Form

Maybe we're sick of the masks and disguises. Maybe we want to gaze upon our champions and vigilantes as they are, vulnerable and known, for their faults and their strengths, for their failures and their victories. Maybe knowing these characters such as we do, such as they are, pushed them ahead of the competition just a little. Which leads me to my next point...

There Is No Black & White, Only Gray in Their Origin Stories

Our current Covid reality in an Election year is polarizing. And like all of us reconciling our values and virtues with our human frailties and hearts, these heroes have made mistakes. Straight up villains and seemingly faultless heroes went the way of novelty characters this year.

Captain Marvel

Free from Kree brainwashing but still pumping Kree blood in her energy manipulating body, who will Captain Marvel become?

Carol Danvers fought alongside Kree villains in the beginning of Captain Marvel, imprisoning and driving innocent Skrull adults and children into space refugee camps before she stopped keeping her (literally planet-moving, ala Thanos) potential all bottled up inside. Her timing in "Avengers: Endgame" is something some of us lament... how could she arrive RIGHT before Tony Stark was to die in space, only to arrive just before his sacrifice vs. Thanos? Can't save 'em all, she said, after all she isn't one of Earth's Mightiest but the cosmos' Mightiest, and as far as we know in the MCU, she's still on her own out there in space. As she's been rumored to be the leader of the new generation of Avengers, we can't imagine she'll be alone much longer. But is she leadership material?

Wonder Woman

Golden Eagle armor in Wonder Woman: 1984 trailers suggests she's embracing her origins; does that make her less of a human than ever in the modern world?

Wonder Woman's mother and sisters in Themyscira possess the fortitude to help defend Earth from its enemies, but she is the only one of them who left. She may be the thread that binds Superman and Batman together but she possesses a little of both of their flaws... a truly bleeding heart and a peacekeeping mentality. She tends to walk the moral high ground but we've seen her mature from running headfirst towards German machine gun nests to leading a team of enhanced beings. She has a natural aptitude to inspire, like Superman, but she understands what drives a vigilante like Bruce Wayne to operate from the shadows thanks to her loss of Steve Trevor. We're meant to get the impression from the trailers for Wonder Woman: 1984 that Diana will have to make a selfless or selfish decision to keep what she most desires. 

Loki

"The sun will shine on us again, brother," but what will that look like with Loki's best deeds undone?

Loki does what Loki wants. He has done terrible things to fill the void in his heart created by being cast out as King of Asgard, and when he sees nothing but the shadows of his father Odin and brother Thor around him. And as much as he wants Thor and Odin to think him fierce and fearsome, he's still the boy who grew up loving them within. Self-preservation is his natural state, and we saw that play out to a delightful and hilarious extent in Thor: Ragnarok. But at the end of that film and at the beginning of Infinity War, the God of Mischief had mended fences with his brother and even willingly lost his life for him. We'll have to see if the OG Avengers Loki who escaped during the Time Heist in Endgame is going to re-emerge or if he'll have some heightened awareness and appreciation for all his future character has gone through. 

Scarlet Witch

"You took EVERYTHING from me." And no amount of rage can bring that back, so where will Wanda go next?

Scarlet Witch has lost everything she has ever known and loved in the span of less than a decade: her home, her family, her twin brother, and now her true love. The family she found in the Avengers before Captain America Civil War is in tatters: Black Widow who mentored her is dead, Captain America is like 90 years old, even Iron Man who locked her in her room for her own protection like a kid whose misbehaved on social media is dead. So what's left for Wanda, aside from vengeful rage? Will her surviving ties with Hawkeye who seems eager to fill that big brotherly void out of obligation, and Falcon and Winter Soldier, and perhaps her friends in Wakanda be enough? What Wanda Maximoff becomes is on thin ice, like many of us feel nowadays ourselves. 

Stay Tuned...

Just like so much is up in the air for our characters, it's a real fight to the bitter end to see which of these undeniable Battle Royale heavyweights make it out alive. Wonder Woman takes on Scarlet Witch, and Loki will face Captain Marvel as the field is whittled down to our final two. 

Five Characters Willing to Make the Big Selfless Sacrifice for the Greater Good

by Brett Ashley McKenzie

Hunkered down in our basement as a good old summer Midwestern tornado warning passed, my kids reignited our usual comfort conversation that it was simply Thor causing the lightning and thunder, as Thor does, probably while getting a bad guy. 

Into month six of quarantine with my eight and four-year-old, our two dogs, and my husband, all things considered my children have gotten pretty well-adjusted to this bizarre new reality where their circle of interaction is limited to less than a handful of adults. With so many adult people acting so irresponsibly on the regular, I find myself constantly having tough conversations to remind my kids why we need to care for others as much as we care for ourselves.

My eight-year-old is old enough to understand the political and civic unrest; to read about #BlackLivesMatter, to candidly discuss racism, to create a whole art campaign all her own on Juneteenth, and to draw rainbows on the sidewalk for Pride. While my four-year-old still worships comic book heroes and the entire cast of any Star Wars movie, Sophie (my daughter) and I have talked at length about how sacrifice makes people heroic. Sometimes sacrifices include essential workers returning to their jobs; a teacher returning to her classroom for kids who would have no safe place to learn otherwise during Covid; a neighbor who dedicates all of their free time and energy to successfully petitioning our city council for reparations. 

On the big and small screen, here are five examples of NON MAGICAL, NON ENHANCED humans whose decisions for the greater good have wide-reaching implications. Fear not though, we'll be coming back to like Bing Bong the elephant clown memory from Inside Out in a future edition.

Lee Abbott, A Quiet Place (2018)

A horror story or a love story about family? John Krasinski is firmly in the camp of the latter.

The Abbott family in John Krasinski's landmark thriller A Quiet Place faces so many limitations of expression that it's essentially a silent horror movie about love. After enduring unimaginable loss, isolation, and hardship, the family has to put themselves back together in a way that seems to prioritize survival. And at times, that shift makes dad Lee Abbott feel almost callous, especially towards his daughter Regan. In a grand act toward the finale, it is made abundantly and unquestionably clear to Regan--played by the flawless and captivating Millicent Simmonds--that Lee's love for her is as deep as any force in this world. Krasinski often talks about how this film is a love story to his own children, proof in production form that he would do literally anything to protect them; something many of us who are parents relate to powerfully in watching A Quiet Place.

Steve Trevor, Wonder Woman (2017)

Trevor is played by a widely-hailed Hollywood "nice guy" in Wonder Woman and Wonder Woman 1984.

It might seem as though being Wonder Woman's soulmate carries enough obligation with it that you should at least be able to quit your day job, maybe busy yourself offering Diana foot rubs and ice cream when she's not saving the world. Not General Steven Rockwell Trevor though. His deep sense of loyalty and almost "global patriotism" is heroic in its own right. He never shies away from being the one to do the next hardest thing. Diana reminds him to keep his moral compass pointed due north in her own ways, but he also shapes her understanding of what it takes to win a war battle by battle. We cannot wait to see how Steve makes it back to her in Wonder Woman: 1984 in a few months. 

Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games saga

Before she became the Mockingjay symbol of hope to all of Panem--and a political pawn unsure who was manipulating her in the end--Katniss Everdeen was simply a teenager who loved her little sister too much to allow her to enter a battle to the death against a bunch of other people. "I volunteer as tribute" set off a series of events spanning years that resulted in the liberation of suffering people across Panem. Katniss has to do some extraordinary and undesirable things to survive and she loses so much in the process. The irony of the ending is almost unbearable, but also indicative that Katniss isn't the only one who sees lives worth protecting more than her own. 

Boromir, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Sean Bean memes aside, man is Boromir unlikable for 90 percent of this film. But, and it's a pretty important but, everything that follows in the LOTR saga is thanks to Boromir taking those arrows to save the hobbits he came pretty close to betraying. The temptations of the race of men, yes, but in his final act at the end of the first film, Boromir proved to be made from tougher stuff. And it runs in the family, as far as his brother is concerned. Pretty sure not a soul on Middle Earth misses that douchebag of a father they shared. 

Lois Lane, Man of Steel/Superman vs. Batman/Justice League

She may not be the one flying into flaming buildings or throttling Steppenwolf, but she's no Mary Sue either. A top prizewinning journalist with a fierce commitment and obligation to the truth and freedom, she puts herself in harm's way regularly for the sake of her story. She's also sacrificing plenty of happiness having found true love with a man she has to share with a desperately needy universe. It would take only a word for Lois to keep Kal-El rooted to that farmhouse in Kansas with her, to a quieter life, because she is the only thing aside from kryptonite with any sway over Superman. Rather than begging him to stay, she sends him out into the world, a selfless kind of sacrifice that requires a woman nearly as strong inside as Superman is on the outside.

Corey's Top 10 Best Shark Movies (After Jaws): Ranked

It's that time of year, something's in the water, and Movie Madness' own Corey Johns is here to toss you a life preserver for your covidboredom with his list of Top 10 Shark Movies. Take it away Corey!

Corey's Top 10 Best Shark Movies (After Jaws): Ranked 
It's "Shark Week." I just got finished watching "Mike Tyson vs. Jaws" on Discovery Channel.  I'm totally pumped up to watch some movies about sharks.

"Great white. Beautiful fish."

I've always been fascinated by sharks, amazing prehistoric creatures that predate even the dinosaurs and are still the apex predators of the ocean. Jaws, which is tied in first on my all time list of favorite movies, started my fascination with sharks. I still watch it multiple times per year, and it is a tradition that I watch it every 4th of July.

Jaws did an amazing job of capturing the beauty and mystery and danger of sharks; but in some ways, Jaws at the same time both created and ruined the shark movie sub-genre of movies. The film was so perfect that it has been impossible to make anything better. Maybe one day there might be a shark movie better than Jaws, but, of the hundreds and hundreds of shark movies that have been made since there hasn't been anything that good since. Most of the time, it's because shark movies forget what made Jaws so great. The shark didn't make Jaws a great movie. The shark was barely even in it. What made Jaws so great was the characters, the story, the mystery of the shark, and the dramatic tension that was built throughout the movie. And most scenes that had the shark, actually just have barrels representing the shark floating around the water.

Roy Scheider as Martin Brody was an in-over-his-head police chief who had no clue what he was doing but was trying his best to do his job and keep people safe despite consistent opposition from the Mayor. Robert Shaw as Quint and Richard Dreyfus as Matt Hooper were at great odds their entire time on screen, with Quint refusing to trust Hooper's science, and Hooper refusing to trust Quint's instincts.

The movie was also split into two different parts, with the first half of the movie consisting of the trauma caused on the beach and Chief Brody being slapped in the face (sometimes literally) no matter what decision he made, while the second half was just the three stars of the movie going out to find the shark.

Every single scene featuring water there was tension and fear that the shark could do something big to put everybody in danger. But the tension was built even more by the characters butting heads so we never knew what would happen or how the plot would go. The movie was not predictable.

But most shark movies ignore this and focus on the shark, making it bigger and badder and meaner and scarier, and more destructive than ever. The Nicholas Cage movie USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage should have been a dramatic tension-filled movie. The way Quint explained a fictionalized version of his endurance of the USS Indianapolis disaster was slow but terrifying. Just listening to him tell the story had me invested, but the actual movie that was made to show this story on the big screen put too much focus on the sharks. It ignored the plot, and the real story of terror, and made the movie more about the sharks. When Quint explained that in the darkness, he would just see guys all of a sudden screaming and hollering, because they didn't know when the shark would come by because they couldn't see them, that is frightening. The men were in the water, with sharks, but had no clue what was going on. USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage ignored that and focused on ridiculous shark scenes and shark attacks that went over-the-top to an unnecessary level that destroys the movie while trying to be serious.

Then there are the movies that try to be ridiculous but even fail at that. If Megashark vs. Giant Octopus wants to give us a stupid movie of two giant creatures fighting, sure, we're had that and loved it in Godzilla and some other monster matchup movies. But don't be boring. When the megashark jumps out of the water and grabs an airplane out of mid-flight, it's terrible because the dialogue during that moment was awful, the acting was worse, and the rest of the movie surrounding those types of moments put me to sleep.

There are a few movies, though, that avoid these missteps enough to be watchable. While none have caught up to Jaws, which is the best shark movie and it's not even close, here are my next top 10 shark movies (that I've seen so far).

10. Jaws: The Revenge

We're gonna need a bigger bigger boat again again.

Having Jaws: The Revenge as the No. 10 best shark movie after the franchise originator shows you how shallow this sub-genre is. This movie isn't very good. It's cheesy, the story is ridiculous, and at this point in the franchise, nobody seems like they want to be in the movie. It is sad how far things fell. But, this Jaws sequel beats out Jaws 3-D to be No. 10 on this list for one reason: Michael Caine. At the very least, Jaws: The Revenge has Michael Caine being awesome, charming, and fearless. He's great. Jaws 3-D, despite starring Dennis Quaid, Lea Thompson, and Louis Gossett, Jr., was just boring, and that is the only thing worse than being bad.

9. 47 Meters Down

Editor's Note (Brett): I thought this was pretty badass, especially as Claire Holt (left) and Mandy Moore (right) are essentially the only characters in the film and are not damsels in distress here.

47 Meters Down doesn't exactly have the most interesting set-up, but it does well on focusing on tension and drama more than the sharks. Mandy Moore and Claire Holt play sisters who decide to go watch sharks from a diving cage, but the cage wire snaps and falls...47 Meters Down to the bottom in shark-infested waters. The sisters have to figure out how to get to the surface before they run out of oxygen. Sadly, the movie is better if you ignore the ending, and that is never a good thing for a movie.

8. Sharknado

Editor's Note: The actual F.

Remember when I was mentioning Megashark vs. Giant Octopus and how ridiculous it was but it was boring? And how USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage tried to be serious but went over-the-top ridiculous with the shark scenes? Sharknado knows it' a stupid movie, but, it fully plays into it, and the actors are fully committed to being over-the-top ridiculous. Sharknado somehow manages to walk the fine line to be something you can sit through if you're interested in a ridiculous plot that includes sharks getting swept up in a water spout and being thrown all over the place and causing tons of added chaos to an already chaotic event.

7. Open Water

Editor's Note: Swipe left, hard pass.

Finally, we're at a movie that I would say is solid. Open Water is somewhat based on the true story of Tom and Eileen Lonergan, who were accidentally left behind by their diving group when the boat crew failed to take an accurate headcount. Nobody knows what happened to that couple while they were stranded out at sea, but knowing something like this happened makes this movie frightening. Open Water gets bonus points for using real sharks, so it's not awful CGI, but the movie is never really about sharks. It's about the traumatic situation of a couple being left out in the wide-open ocean, and knowing there are sharks so close by and threatening them, make each moment even more dramatic.

 

6. The Reef

Seven years after Open Water came out, The Reef told the story of another true story, this of Ray Boundy, who was the sole survivor of a similar incident as shown in the movie. The movie does make a lot of changes to who survives, and who dies, but the overall story is similar. This group goes out on a boat, it capsizes in the open ocean, and they have to decide whether they sit on the boat, that is sinking and drifting further out to sea, or if they swim 12 miles toward an island they can't see. And the water on the way there is infested with sharks. The Reef is absolutely beautiful. The cinematography is tremendous and like Open Water, they use footage of real sharks, so it's not terrible CGI. The blending of the shark footage and actors is seamless as well. There are so many moments where the point of view looks into the water is just into a blue abyss. But we know there is a shark there. We just can't see it. It's nail-biting. There are so many moments I found myself grabbing the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens. It was when the shark wasn't there that was the most terrifying.

5. Bait 3D

Editor's Note: nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. 

I had low expectations for Bait 3D, and the first couple minutes of the movie nearly led me to turn it off. The first scene is very slow, but if you get through it, the rest of the movie more than makes up for it. By the end of watching, I felt I had a great time. This one is a lot different than the two similar open ocean movies just mentions – Open Water and The Reef. This movie takes place inside a grocery store and a connected parking garage. Yes, sharks in a grocery store and parking garage, but the set up makes it make sense. During a whale migrating season there is an increased number of great white sharks off the coast of this town in Australia. In the grocery store, we see former lifeguard Josh, who is trying to get over regret that his best friend got eaten by a Great White Shark while covering for him while he was hungover just a year earlier. In the grocery store, there is a robbery taking place, but in the middle of the robbery, there is a freak earthquake and tsunami that floods the city and fills this grocery store and parking lot, both of which are dug into the ground. And in the flood, there are great white sharks that get washed in. Now, the surviving robber and hostages must work together to figure out how to get out and avoid being eaten by the sharks. The movie makes it all work because it is more about the relationships and interactions between all the people more than the sharks, though there are a few ridiculous shark scenes, but not too over the top that they don't work. There was one unnecessary love story, and one character arc that never got fully resolved, or at least explained properly, but Bait ended up being one of those movies the could have been another cheesy ridiculous shark movie but actually had characters that I was invested in – rooting for some, rooting against others. And some great and awesome shark moments, but managed to not be over-the-top insane.

4. Deep Blue Sea

Editor's Note (Brett again): Ladies. Cuba Gooding Jr. Thomas Jane. Samuel L Jackson. Heck yes.

Deep Blue Sea was better than it probably should have been, but again, they left the sharks there as something to fear, but the movie was about the characters doing everything they could to get to the surface of their sinking facility. There are some crazy shark scenes, but they are also genetically modified sharks with giant brains, so it's acceptable that they are plotting throughout the movie. But Deep Blue see made a movie where the giant killer sharks were there, but not the star of the movie. It worked.

3. Jaws 2

Jaws 2 went heavier action than its predecessor did, but Roy Scheider had us invested and rooting for him to save the day once again. It just beats out Deep Blue Sea probably unfairly because of the connection I feel I have with Martin Brody from the first movie, but it is still a solid movie with tense scenes and nothing too over the top ridiculous going on.

2. The Shallows

The Shallows did an amazing job of having pretty much one character stuck in one location and not having boring moments. Maybe it also helps the movie is an hour and a half of Blake Lively in a swimsuit, but what she is going through is amazing. She is injured, stuck on a rock, and a killer shark is circling her. She doesn't know how to get back to shore, and time is running out because the tide is coming in and is bringing the shark closer and closer. The tension builds every minute of the movie until the end. It's thrilling.

Honorable Mention: Kon-Tiki 

I saw this movie on one list as a highly-rated shark movie and was excited to watch this while preparing to right this article. This movie was absolutely beautiful. It was based on a true-story of a Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl setting sale on a balsawood raft built just like it would have built 1,500 years ago, to try to prove that Peruvians were the ones who discovered Polynesian from the East rather than civilizations expanding from the west. The movie has an absolutely incredible scene with a whale shark, which isn't usually what you think of when you think about shark movies, but it was awesome. There are also some intense moments with great white sharks as well. But, after watching the movie, I don't think I can consider it a shark movie. Sharks were there, and the scenes are incredible, the movie was a great adventure story. The sharks were part of the real story, so they were included, but I don't consider this shark movie enough to be included in this top 10.

 

1. The Meg

Remember when I said shark movies too often try to make the shark the star of the movie and it doesn't work and shark movies are best when they just let the shark's presence built tension and are best left off-screen? The Meg is a major exception to that. The Meg is awesome because it is a giant prehistoric megalodon going toe-to-toe against Hollywood badass Jason Statham. If it wasn't Jason Statham being Jason Statham, this movie would not have worked, but it was every bit of awesomeness I expected it to be considering what it was. There were funny moments, the characters grew, but it was the giant killer shark vs. Jason Statham and over-the-top in all the best ways. Everything came together perfectly. If any piece of the parts didn't work, this would have flopped, but somehow it all works together.